Queer

It was just Spring and me and M2 were visiting my mother. She was busy sorting her photos and papers stacked in piles on the queen bed in the guest room, most of which I hadn’t seen before. I’ve visited over the years and helped sort photos each time. I thought I had already seen it all. But there’s always some box or file hidden or forgotten which is a burden and a delight. Continue reading “Queer”

Fearful Symmetry

Wild fires are burning through British Columbia, making our skies here grey with smoke. The sun hides most of the day but the heat is constant. Such a dry, hot summer. When the sun sets, though, it’s a large round ornament  of pink and orange–the color of a fancy, girly drink. An uncontrollable color that pushes through all that smoke, breaking open that thick all-day grey.  It’s beautiful to see. And just as the sun reaches near the edge of the visible sky, there’s a particular soft pink-yellow light that beams down, it’s quite hot, even penetrating. It seems to aim right for me like a spotlight.

Driving home tonight, within a quick moment, as that particular sun reached me, it felt as if I were in a warehouse on a Hollywood set, driving down a pretend street to my pretend house. The light guiding me, much too hot, much too close, much too narrow and exact, the wrong color even, but it followed my every move perfectly as if there were a script and we were just doing a run-through. Then it was gone.